Covenantstrong.org

  I hope you missed me delivering my weekly blog. I was without my laptop mid-March and just decided it was too much to update this blog via phone (I’m still very old school). But I’m back. I'm excited about April blogs. We have a lot of good things to share. Let’s start this off talking a little more about passion in marriage. To have passion, chemistry must exist, right? Wrong.  Chemistry is magnetic. It pulls you in without effort. But what many couples eventually discover is that while chemistry is instant, presence, connection, and partnership is built over time. Partnership steadies love. This kind of steady love is lasting because it’s achieved through time spent building something special together. This kind of love includes patience with each other’s differences and most importantly, being fully present in the process. One of the things you will appreciate most about intentional presence is how passion matures as a result of it. Yes, passion. While James and I had the...

Real talk family. How do you define commitment? Some people only recognize commitment when they struggle with it. But commitment is not about staying in the struggle. It is about the daily choice to love, live, remain, and sustain. When you are grateful for your spouse, staying isn’t a burden but a privilege. When you value your relationship, staying committed and choosing your spouse doesn’t feel heavy because it is rooted in appreciation instead of obligation. Commitment isn’t simply enduring but rather building and sustaining a love that will last. You become protective of your relationship. You enjoy time together to naturally nurture what you’re becoming. In our story, a strong, healthy relationship wasn’t built overnight. Our relationship grew through our daily decisions. It took effort and the willingness, patience, and grace to learn each other deeply and to love the good, bad, and the ugly. Then what started with chemistry matured into covenant. That’s the beauty of marriage....

Did you know gratitude often has a quiet power that is beneficial to our relationships. When you show love and appreciation for the everyday, big and small things your spouse does, it builds connection and softens tension. Why is gratitude important? Because we all should remember that even everyday, ordinary tasks we do in our home for one another are acts of love.  When couples focus on what is positive,  instead of what is negative, and what they are thankful for,  instead of what is missing, something beautiful happens. Criticism loses volume as tenderness and connection increases. And while gratitude doesn’t ignore challenges, it helps minimize how challenges define your whole relationship. In our own journey, I’ve learned that expressing appreciation to James lets him know that i don't take him for granted. It reminds James that his contributions matter. And the same for me. And that’s why  I started the 10-day gratitude challenge. Reflection Tip: Today, expres...

Welcome back, family. Today’s subject is timely based on a number of conversations with people we’ve had over the past couple of months, both husbands and wives. Lately, as we’ve talked with couples, we’ve noticed a common thread in their language.  “Marriage is a lot of work.” “Relationships are hard.” “Relationships shouldn’t be this hard” “I’m just tired.” And if we’re honest, we understand where those words come from and why couples feel strained as they become one. Becoming one is not something that happens overnight or even over a few years. It is an ongoing process that is not always easy. Yes, marriage requires effort. It is true that relationships often stretch us. And sometimes, especially in seasons of stress or misunderstanding, love can feel heavy and even feel like a lot of work. But consider this in those moments: Our earthly relationships are a reflection of our spiritual relationship with our Father.  Think about your conversion. Everything did not immediately...

Real talk, family: Romance is often misunderstood. Most of us have lived long enough to know that romance is not proven through grand gestures, extravagant gifts, elaborate trips, or perfectly planned moments. In fact, romance may not even result in fireworks. Romance is most powerfully expressed through intention. As Valentine’s Day approaches, I invite couples to remember that romance isn’t about grand gestures alone. Some of the most meaningful moments in my relationship with James were not expensive or big productions (although I enjoyed the big productions as well). They were simple. Quiet. Intentional. Through simply enjoying one another’s presence without pressure or performance we were able to create memorable experiences that were special. Romance creates close connection in your relationship. Close connection leads to both emotional and physical intimacy. Couples who have close connection experience high relationship satisfaction. Not just on holidays, like February 14, but 2...

There is a quiet ache many people carry into relationships. It is the hope of being loved, paired with the fear of being truly known. To be known means to be seen. And to be seen means to risk rejection which is hard for all of us, regardless of our age, gender, or status. Yet, acceptance , real acceptance , is one of the greatest gifts love can offer. This week’s blog will focus on the gift of acceptance . Acceptance is not loving someone for who they could be, your dream version of a person, or even the potential that you see. All of those ideas may be included in your love. But true acceptance means that you love them for who they already are, not who you (are them) want to be. Long before James and I ever became a couple, we were friends. And even then, something about talking or being around James felt safe. I could talk. Really talk. This made it easy to share everything with James. I shared my disappointments, my hurts, my fears, and yes, even the parts of myself I believed mad...

Scripture: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” — Psalm 127:1 (NIV) Reflection: Strong marriages are built when God is at the center. This year, we want to be intentional about keeping God at the center of our relationship instead of keeping life so busy that God is placed on the sidelines, waiting to be put in the game. Today, we recommit our covenant to God. We choose one another daily, and commit to the work of strengthening our marriages day-after-day. We recommit to protecting the priority of our marriage, with God at the center.  Prayer: God, we place our marriage fully in Your hands. Lead us, strengthen us, and continue writing our love story. Amen. Intentional Action: Holding hands, reaffirm your commitment to God and to each other out loud.

Scripture: “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)  Reflection: Did you know that fun, laughter, and leisure activities create an essential relationship dynamic that should never be neglected. This represents the time couples spend together to focus on them. It nourishes, replenishes, and strengthens relationships in such a way that not only supports high relationship satisfaction, but also enables a deeper connection for couples to navigate difficult seasons in their relationship easier and better. Remember that joy belongs in marriage too. Nurture your friendship. Friendship is essential to lasting love. Prayer: God, restore joy and lightness in our marriage. Help us laugh, play, and have fun together. Help us to move from our normal routines to be intentional about time together to share our love and lives. We recommit ourselves to honor our vows to love and to cherish till death do us part. Amen. Intentional Action: Do something fun. Create a date night ...

Scripture: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19 (NIV) Reflection: Healthy communication isn’t about winning. It is important to seek understanding whether you agree or disagree with your partner’s perspective. Why understanding? Remember, you are on the same team with different players in the game. Healthy communication allows you to seek understanding for the good of the whole (husband, wife) verses seeking to win which is more focused on self and an individualistic perspective. No matter the situation, always be careful with your words. Choose words that heal, not harm. Prayer: Lord, guide our words. Help us speak truth with love and listen with humility. Amen. Intentional Action: Practice listening without interrupting or defending.

Scripture : “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) Reflection: Spiritual intimacy reminds us that marriage was never meant to be navigated alone. God strengthens what we invite Him into. When we use the strand analogy for Ecclesiastes 4:12, we see how the thread is strengthened each time we add the additional strand. We understand that the unity of the husband and wife is fortified by the third strand which is representative of God. God at the center of our marriages is His design for covenant relationships to be strong and long lasting.   Prayer: God, draw us closer to You and closer to each other. Be the center of our marriage and guide us in all of Your ways. Amen. Intentional Action: Pray together—even briefly.

Scripture:  24) That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25) Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Reflection:  Emotional intimacy grows when we feel safe to share our thoughts, fears, and hopes without judgment. Today is about leaning in emotionally, being naked and vulnerable with one another without shame.  Prayer:  Lord, help us create a safe place for one another’s hearts. Teach us to listen with compassion and respond with care. Help our relationship be one conducive for emotional transparency, honesty, and trust.  Help us to live and exist in unity as husband and wife, as one flesh, based on your design for marriage. Amen. Intentional Action:   Ask each other: “How are you really doing?” Listen fully. 

Scripture: 9) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. 10) If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) Reflection:  Connection doesn’t disappear overnight but fades daily when the relationship is neglected. Today is about turning toward each other again. Choosing closeness. Choosing “connection.” Prayer:  God, help us slow down and truly see one another again. Next to You, make our relationship our greatest priority. We choose each other and are committed to our Covenant. Please, strengthen our bond and remind us how to connect and chose each other everyday. Amen. Intentional Action:  Spend at least 10 uninterrupted minutes talking without phones or...

Heavenly Father, Our God. Thank You for bringing us together in Covenant relationship. Thank you for the love we share. Father, please help us to choose one another with intention each day. Teach us to listen with understanding, speak with kindness, and respond with grace, regardless of what season we are experiencing.  Father God, strengthen our connection emotionally, spiritually, and physically. When life feels heavy, remind us that we are on the same team. Help us to communicate with kindness as we listen to understand, not just respond to win. We promise to keep You at the center of our marriage so our love may grow deeper, stronger, and more secure, to bring You glory. Father, we place our relationship in Your hands, trusting You to guide us, sustain us, and grow us together. Thank you for our marriage. In the Name of Jesus.  Amen. 

As we welcome 2026, our hearts at Covenant Strong are full.of gratitude for every couple, every family, and every individual who has walked this journey with us. Looking Back with Grateful Hearts In 2025, we talked honestly about love. Not the fairy-tale version. Not the “easy when it feels good” kind. But the chosen kind. We shared God’s design for marriage (Covenant vs Contract), building a foundation for forever, faith in action, and the concept of love as a choice, and so much more. We shared our own story about how two people, who started as friends, found themselves swept into a whirlwind love. We were transparent about how we faced the unexpected reality that marriage takes more than feelings to survive. I hope our sharing helped someone, somewhere. Because we understand how difficult marriages can be to navigate in today’s world, we provided, and will continue to provide, what we termed as Foundational Biblical Principles and Fundamental Best Practices (FBPs). This blog (her...

It’s easy to get lost in daily frustrations like bills, miscommunications, and unmet expectations. During the holiday season, busyness and financial stressors can add to your normal, everyday toll. Like Christmas, love is not about receiving, but giving, especially giving what God created as essential gifts to a relationship. This includes things like kindness, patience, mercy, and love.  So, as shared in my previous blogs, the early part of our marriage was difficult to navigate. This was a surprise since we were close friends long before anything romantic happened between us. We made the decision to approach marriage God's way. We discovered that when we prayed together, even short prayers, our disagreements softened and our relationship was strengthened. Our focus shifted from all our frustration to our shared faith. We found that faith helped us zoom out to realize what truly matters, two imperfect people learning to love like Christ.  According to a 2023 Barna study, cou...

There are moments in marriage that don’t come with a date or a calendar reminder — moments that slip in quietly, so softly you almost miss them. But later, when you look back, you realize:  This was the moment my heart understood what my vows meant. For me, it happened early in our marriage after we decided to approach marriage differently, God's way. James was sitting on the couch, tired from the day, yet peaceful. James is always the calm that is a steady anchor to my sometimes stormy intensity.  I remember watching him for a moment, not as the friend I once confided in, and not even as the husband I was learning to navigate… but as the man God was using to teach me about love, marriage, and patience. We both were learning that marriage was something sacred. Not  me  and  him, but us . The edges of our individual lives were beginning to blend. No, things were not perfect, far from it, but it was evident that God was weaving us together thread by thread, breath...

It’s funny how the people closest to you can see love forming before you ever recognize it. My best friend saw James’s devotion long before I did once James stayed in the ER with her, refusing to leave her alone, even though he only knew her name. There was always something about the way James looked at me. Something that felt good, sincere - something that felt like home. It was then I suddenly realized - maybe love had been there all along. Maybe I had just been too guarded to see it.  Love doesn’t always arrive with grand gestures. Sometimes it arrives quietly through consistency, loyalty, gentleness, and a steady presence that you didn’t realize had become essential to your life. I believe God's design for love is similar to how he created sunrises. The sun reveals itself slowly at first, then suddenly everything is flooded with light. The sunrise is like a glimpse at greatness, followed by the fulfillment of God's promise.  Our love story was a whirlwind that wasn’t chaot...

Long before I knew I loved James, I trusted him completely. I enjoyed our friendship. I enjoyed how James made me feel accepted and emotionally safe any time I was in his presence. Looking back, I realize that love had its eyes on me long before the room turned dark on the dance floor that opened my heart to new possibilities. And maybe that’s why this part of our story still feels like a  miracle to me… because sometimes the greatest gifts are wrapped in seasons we never expected. It felt easy, safe, and familiar. James and I had created a rhythm built on years of small conversations about everything, nothing was off limits. We talked about our love of music, life, disappointments, family and faith. All of those shared lunches had somehow stitched our hearts closer together without either of us noticing. There’s a sweetness in knowing we didn’t rush into romance.  We grew  into love.  We were friends and then one day, without warning, the friend I leaned on became t...

We are taking this December, my favorite time of year, to make my blog posts more personal. I hope it will provide you a little insight as to why James and I created covenantstrong.org to share our story, our voice, discovered resources, relationship information, and hope - mostly hope - for couples everywhere to become examples for healthy, happy, successful marriages. This blog is the first of my Christmas series. I hope it blesses you enough to share my articles with others. Happy holidays. We love you.   There are moments in life you don’t plan for; moments that sneak in quietly, tap you on the shoulder, and whisper, “Pay attention… everything is about to change.”  I didn’t know a causal night out to celebrate a December birthday of a close friend would be one of them. The room was lit with soft reds and golds: the kind of warm glow that feels like Christmas even when it isn’t. People laughed, the music played, and I remember thinking I was just there to support my fr...

  As we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, I wanted to share some simple truths I learned about the power of gratitude in marriage. Think of gratitude like sunlight. Sunlight doesn’t force anything to grow but simply creates the environment where growth becomes possible. As you know from the last two weeks of me blogging on the topic “Love is a Choice”, choosing gratitude is one of the fastest ways to return to unity because it shifts your focus from the problem to the partnership . One of the most powerful truths about gratitude is this: You cannot stay in a negative emotional posture while actively giving thanks. Did you know that research shows that gratitude reduces anxiety, increases emotional resilience, and improves relationship satisfaction. Couples who practice thankfulness feel safer, more valued, and more connected. Most fundamental best practices are based on foundational biblical principles. I personally think about 1 Thessalonians 5:18: In everything give thanks; ...