Covenantstrong.org

There is a quiet ache many people carry into relationships. It is the hope of being loved, paired with the fear of being truly known. To be known means to be seen. And to be seen means to risk rejection which is hard for all of us, regardless of our age, gender, or status. Yet, acceptance , real acceptance , is one of the greatest gifts love can offer. This week’s blog will focus on the gift of acceptance . Acceptance is not loving someone for who they could be, your dream version of a person, or even the potential that you see. All of those ideas may be included in your love. But true acceptance means that you love them for who they already are, not who you (are them) want to be. Long before James and I ever became a couple, we were friends. And even then, something about talking or being around James felt safe. I could talk. Really talk. This made it easy to share everything with James. I shared my disappointments, my hurts, my fears, and yes, even the parts of myself I believed mad...

Scripture: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” — Psalm 127:1 (NIV) Reflection: Strong marriages are built when God is at the center. This year, we want to be intentional about keeping God at the center of our relationship instead of keeping life so busy that God is placed on the sidelines, waiting to be put in the game. Today, we recommit our covenant to God. We choose one another daily, and commit to the work of strengthening our marriages day-after-day. We recommit to protecting the priority of our marriage, with God at the center.  Prayer: God, we place our marriage fully in Your hands. Lead us, strengthen us, and continue writing our love story. Amen. Intentional Action: Holding hands, reaffirm your commitment to God and to each other out loud.

Scripture: “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)  Reflection: Did you know that fun, laughter, and leisure activities create an essential relationship dynamic that should never be neglected. This represents the time couples spend together to focus on them. It nourishes, replenishes, and strengthens relationships in such a way that not only supports high relationship satisfaction, but also enables a deeper connection for couples to navigate difficult seasons in their relationship easier and better. Remember that joy belongs in marriage too. Nurture your friendship. Friendship is essential to lasting love. Prayer: God, restore joy and lightness in our marriage. Help us laugh, play, and have fun together. Help us to move from our normal routines to be intentional about time together to share our love and lives. We recommit ourselves to honor our vows to love and to cherish till death do us part. Amen. Intentional Action: Do something fun. Create a date night ...

Scripture: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19 (NIV) Reflection: Healthy communication isn’t about winning. It is important to seek understanding whether you agree or disagree with your partner’s perspective. Why understanding? Remember, you are on the same team with different players in the game. Healthy communication allows you to seek understanding for the good of the whole (husband, wife) verses seeking to win which is more focused on self and an individualistic perspective. No matter the situation, always be careful with your words. Choose words that heal, not harm. Prayer: Lord, guide our words. Help us speak truth with love and listen with humility. Amen. Intentional Action: Practice listening without interrupting or defending.

Scripture : “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) Reflection: Spiritual intimacy reminds us that marriage was never meant to be navigated alone. God strengthens what we invite Him into. When we use the strand analogy for Ecclesiastes 4:12, we see how the thread is strengthened each time we add the additional strand. We understand that the unity of the husband and wife is fortified by the third strand which is representative of God. God at the center of our marriages is His design for covenant relationships to be strong and long lasting.   Prayer: God, draw us closer to You and closer to each other. Be the center of our marriage and guide us in all of Your ways. Amen. Intentional Action: Pray together—even briefly.

Scripture:  24) That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25) Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Reflection:  Emotional intimacy grows when we feel safe to share our thoughts, fears, and hopes without judgment. Today is about leaning in emotionally, being naked and vulnerable with one another without shame.  Prayer:  Lord, help us create a safe place for one another’s hearts. Teach us to listen with compassion and respond with care. Help our relationship be one conducive for emotional transparency, honesty, and trust.  Help us to live and exist in unity as husband and wife, as one flesh, based on your design for marriage. Amen. Intentional Action:   Ask each other: “How are you really doing?” Listen fully. 

Scripture: 9) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. 10) If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) Reflection:  Connection doesn’t disappear overnight but fades daily when the relationship is neglected. Today is about turning toward each other again. Choosing closeness. Choosing “connection.” Prayer:  God, help us slow down and truly see one another again. Next to You, make our relationship our greatest priority. We choose each other and are committed to our Covenant. Please, strengthen our bond and remind us how to connect and chose each other everyday. Amen. Intentional Action:  Spend at least 10 uninterrupted minutes talking without phones or...

Heavenly Father, Our God. Thank You for bringing us together in Covenant relationship. Thank you for the love we share. Father, please help us to choose one another with intention each day. Teach us to listen with understanding, speak with kindness, and respond with grace, regardless of what season we are experiencing.  Father God, strengthen our connection emotionally, spiritually, and physically. When life feels heavy, remind us that we are on the same team. Help us to communicate with kindness as we listen to understand, not just respond to win. We promise to keep You at the center of our marriage so our love may grow deeper, stronger, and more secure, to bring You glory. Father, we place our relationship in Your hands, trusting You to guide us, sustain us, and grow us together. Thank you for our marriage. In the Name of Jesus.  Amen. 

As we welcome 2026, our hearts at Covenant Strong are full.of gratitude for every couple, every family, and every individual who has walked this journey with us. Looking Back with Grateful Hearts In 2025, we talked honestly about love. Not the fairy-tale version. Not the “easy when it feels good” kind. But the chosen kind. We shared God’s design for marriage (Covenant vs Contract), building a foundation for forever, faith in action, and the concept of love as a choice, and so much more. We shared our own story about how two people, who started as friends, found themselves swept into a whirlwind love. We were transparent about how we faced the unexpected reality that marriage takes more than feelings to survive. I hope our sharing helped someone, somewhere. Because we understand how difficult marriages can be to navigate in today’s world, we provided, and will continue to provide, what we termed as Foundational Biblical Principles and Fundamental Best Practices (FBPs). This blog (her...

It’s easy to get lost in daily frustrations like bills, miscommunications, and unmet expectations. During the holiday season, busyness and financial stressors can add to your normal, everyday toll. Like Christmas, love is not about receiving, but giving, especially giving what God created as essential gifts to a relationship. This includes things like kindness, patience, mercy, and love.  So, as shared in my previous blogs, the early part of our marriage was difficult to navigate. This was a surprise since we were close friends long before anything romantic happened between us. We made the decision to approach marriage God's way. We discovered that when we prayed together, even short prayers, our disagreements softened and our relationship was strengthened. Our focus shifted from all our frustration to our shared faith. We found that faith helped us zoom out to realize what truly matters, two imperfect people learning to love like Christ.  According to a 2023 Barna study, cou...

There are moments in marriage that don’t come with a date or a calendar reminder — moments that slip in quietly, so softly you almost miss them. But later, when you look back, you realize:  This was the moment my heart understood what my vows meant. For me, it happened early in our marriage after we decided to approach marriage differently, God's way. James was sitting on the couch, tired from the day, yet peaceful. James is always the calm that is a steady anchor to my sometimes stormy intensity.  I remember watching him for a moment, not as the friend I once confided in, and not even as the husband I was learning to navigate… but as the man God was using to teach me about love, marriage, and patience. We both were learning that marriage was something sacred. Not  me  and  him, but us . The edges of our individual lives were beginning to blend. No, things were not perfect, far from it, but it was evident that God was weaving us together thread by thread, breath...

It’s funny how the people closest to you can see love forming before you ever recognize it. My best friend saw James’s devotion long before I did once James stayed in the ER with her, refusing to leave her alone, even though he only knew her name. There was always something about the way James looked at me. Something that felt good, sincere - something that felt like home. It was then I suddenly realized - maybe love had been there all along. Maybe I had just been too guarded to see it.  Love doesn’t always arrive with grand gestures. Sometimes it arrives quietly through consistency, loyalty, gentleness, and a steady presence that you didn’t realize had become essential to your life. I believe God's design for love is similar to how he created sunrises. The sun reveals itself slowly at first, then suddenly everything is flooded with light. The sunrise is like a glimpse at greatness, followed by the fulfillment of God's promise.  Our love story was a whirlwind that wasn’t chaot...

Long before I knew I loved James, I trusted him completely. I enjoyed our friendship. I enjoyed how James made me feel accepted and emotionally safe any time I was in his presence. Looking back, I realize that love had its eyes on me long before the room turned dark on the dance floor that opened my heart to new possibilities. And maybe that’s why this part of our story still feels like a  miracle to me… because sometimes the greatest gifts are wrapped in seasons we never expected. It felt easy, safe, and familiar. James and I had created a rhythm built on years of small conversations about everything, nothing was off limits. We talked about our love of music, life, disappointments, family and faith. All of those shared lunches had somehow stitched our hearts closer together without either of us noticing. There’s a sweetness in knowing we didn’t rush into romance.  We grew  into love.  We were friends and then one day, without warning, the friend I leaned on became t...

We are taking this December, my favorite time of year, to make my blog posts more personal. I hope it will provide you a little insight as to why James and I created covenantstrong.org to share our story, our voice, discovered resources, relationship information, and hope - mostly hope - for couples everywhere to become examples for healthy, happy, successful marriages. This blog is the first of my Christmas series. I hope it blesses you enough to share my articles with others. Happy holidays. We love you.   There are moments in life you don’t plan for; moments that sneak in quietly, tap you on the shoulder, and whisper, “Pay attention… everything is about to change.”  I didn’t know a causal night out to celebrate a December birthday of a close friend would be one of them. The room was lit with soft reds and golds: the kind of warm glow that feels like Christmas even when it isn’t. People laughed, the music played, and I remember thinking I was just there to support my fr...

  As we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, I wanted to share some simple truths I learned about the power of gratitude in marriage. Think of gratitude like sunlight. Sunlight doesn’t force anything to grow but simply creates the environment where growth becomes possible. As you know from the last two weeks of me blogging on the topic “Love is a Choice”, choosing gratitude is one of the fastest ways to return to unity because it shifts your focus from the problem to the partnership . One of the most powerful truths about gratitude is this: You cannot stay in a negative emotional posture while actively giving thanks. Did you know that research shows that gratitude reduces anxiety, increases emotional resilience, and improves relationship satisfaction. Couples who practice thankfulness feel safer, more valued, and more connected. Most fundamental best practices are based on foundational biblical principles. I personally think about 1 Thessalonians 5:18: In everything give thanks; ...

During hard seasons, couples often lose their sense of physical closeness. Physical intimacy is still possible during periods of difficulty. Intimacy is not about performance, it’s about choosing to be present despite disagreement,  disappointment, or frustration. Life may stretch your marriage thin. But love chosen has the power to rebuild what hardship tries to break. Physical intimacy may not return overnight but will certainly return through tenderness, forgiveness, prayer, presence, and unity. Remember, you don’t have to feel close to choose closeness. Even if you don’t feel desire, always protect your connection with your spouse whether you feel in love or not.  Actions don't have to be big but should be genuine. Even small action matter. Focus on emotional safety, kindness, and tenderness. Physical intimacy returns strongest when each of you to feel secure in your relationship  regardless of what is going on. Practical Step: Establish “pressure-free closeness time”...

Sometimes life gets so loud, stressful, or heavy that couple intimacy gets caught in the crossfire. Intimacy often fades because life pressures pull couples' hearts into survival mode. The truth is that conflict, trauma, financial strain, health scares, or emotional exhaustion can shake intimacy even in the strongest marriages. And it’s not because the love is gone but because life can be so stressful and heavy that intimacy gets caught in the crossfire. For a healthy marriage , it is important to restore intimacy . Choose to rebuild intimacy . Think of intimacy like a garden. Storms may flatten the flowers, but storms don’t destroy roots. With the right care, what once looked fragile can grow back stronger, deeper, and more connected than before. Rebuild slowly, intentionally, and beautifully for a great harvest. Here’s something every couple should know - stress impacts intimacy. Not because anything is “wrong,” but because the body is designed to prioritize survival over connec...

Every couple argues. Even the most loving, faithful, God-centered marriages have moments when conflict occurs and sparks fly - and not the romantic kind of sparks. Couples who endure are not the ones who avoid arguing. Couples who endure are the ones who refuse to stop choosing each other. James and I often tell couples in counseling that love is not a one-time “I do.” It’s a lifetime of “I still do,” spoken in a thousand small ways — through forgiveness, patience, laughter, and loyalty. Your commitment is eternal. When you keep choosing love, feelings follow and connection deepens because love practiced becomes love felt . “Let all that you do be done in love.” — 1 Corinthians 16:14 When couples choose to live as partners on the same team, everything shifts. start seeing each other as opponents instead of , even small disagreements can turn into major battles. But when we remember that we’re  Love isn’t about avoiding conflict but about handling conflict together. Choosing love i...

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, who has studied marriages for over 40 years, discovered that couples who are successful don’t avoid conflict but choose kindness, patience, and respect in moments when anger or pride could take over. Studies show the heartbeat of lasting marriages is choosing unity over ego. I dare say choosing a Godly approach to love, even when your emotions don’t align, results in a deeper, richer kind of relationship.  The choice is commitment to one another, even during conflict. Here’s something to remember about choice that sustains love: Stronger, Godly marriages are built on choosing what is right, not just what’s easy or convenient. Some fundamental best practices for loving through conflict include: 1) offering grace instead of criticism. 2) Stay in the room rather than walking away unless you have an agreed upon timeout. 3) Keep your vows not just with your words, but with your actions. This means honoring your routines and responsibilities even when you a...

Love rooted in decision, not emotion , is what creates lasting joy and connection. Let's continue to explore God's model of love for you to experience happy, healthy marriages that last because your foundation is strong. Feelings change and can’t be trusted as a foundation of love. But God’s design for love is based on an act of will and sacrifice , not fleeting desire. The most important element of this concept is an intentional decision to love in contrast to automatic feelings that you can't control.  James and I know how important understanding this model is for couples to create lasting relationships. We both experienced the pain of divorce. I'm not trying to minimize any marital situation that has caused anyone to consider divorce. I just want to encourage couples never to use a permanent solution to resolve a temporary problem. Couples will have conflict, difficulty, and seasons of disconnect . This is when every decision we make can strengthen our bonds of co...