Covenantstrong.org

We are taking this December, my favorite time of year, to make my blog posts more personal. I hope it will provide you a little insight as to why James and I created covenantstrong.org to share our story, our voice, discovered resources, relationship information, and hope - mostly hope - for couples everywhere to become examples for healthy, happy, successful marriages. This blog is the first of my Christmas series. I hope it blesses you enough to share my articles with others. Happy holidays. We love you.   There are moments in life you don’t plan for; moments that sneak in quietly, tap you on the shoulder, and whisper, “Pay attention… everything is about to change.”  I didn’t know a causal night out to celebrate a December birthday of a close friend would be one of them. The room was lit with soft reds and golds: the kind of warm glow that feels like Christmas even when it isn’t. People laughed, the music played, and I remember thinking I was just there to support my fr...

During hard seasons, couples often lose their sense of physical closeness. Physical intimacy is still possible during periods of difficulty. Intimacy is not about performance, it’s about choosing to be present despite disagreement,  disappointment, or frustration. Life may stretch your marriage thin. But love chosen has the power to rebuild what hardship tries to break. Physical intimacy may not return overnight but will certainly return through tenderness, forgiveness, prayer, presence, and unity. Remember, you don’t have to feel close to choose closeness. Even if you don’t feel desire, always protect your connection with your spouse whether you feel in love or not.  Actions don't have to be big but should be genuine. Even small action matter. Focus on emotional safety, kindness, and tenderness. Physical intimacy returns strongest when each of you to feel secure in your relationship  regardless of what is going on. Practical Step: Establish “pressure-free closeness time”...

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, who has studied marriages for over 40 years, discovered that couples who are successful don’t avoid conflict but choose kindness, patience, and respect in moments when anger or pride could take over. Studies show the heartbeat of lasting marriages is choosing unity over ego. I dare say choosing a Godly approach to love, even when your emotions don’t align, results in a deeper, richer kind of relationship.  The choice is commitment to one another, even during conflict. Here’s something to remember about choice that sustains love: Stronger, Godly marriages are built on choosing what is right, not just what’s easy or convenient. Some fundamental best practices for loving through conflict include: 1) offering grace instead of criticism. 2) Stay in the room rather than walking away unless you have an agreed upon timeout. 3) Keep your vows not just with your words, but with your actions. This means honoring your routines and responsibilities even when you a...

Love rooted in decision, not emotion , is what creates lasting joy and connection. Let's continue to explore God's model of love for you to experience happy, healthy marriages that last because your foundation is strong. Feelings change and can’t be trusted as a foundation of love. But God’s design for love is based on an act of will and sacrifice , not fleeting desire. The most important element of this concept is an intentional decision to love in contrast to automatic feelings that you can't control.  James and I know how important understanding this model is for couples to create lasting relationships. We both experienced the pain of divorce. I'm not trying to minimize any marital situation that has caused anyone to consider divorce. I just want to encourage couples never to use a permanent solution to resolve a temporary problem. Couples will have conflict, difficulty, and seasons of disconnect . This is when every decision we make can strengthen our bonds of co...