Covenantstrong.org

Real talk family. Traditional wedding vows are beautiful but most of the familiar wedding vow language ("for better, for worse," "for richer, for poorer," etc.) is not quoted directly from Scripture. Traditional vows were developed over centuries by the Church to summarize biblical principles of covenant marriage. In fact, before wedding ceremonies, wedding bands, and traditional vows, Scripture gave couples a blueprint for what covenant love should look like. A good example of a marital Foundational Biblical Principle (FBP) is Genesis 2:24 (NIV) "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." This is a promise to leave and cleave. It places the marital relationship as of greater priority than the relationship between parent in child(ren). Don’t misunderstand. There is great responsibility in becoming a parent. But as an adult, when you marry, you build a new family identity with  your spouse.  This vo...

 

Real talk family. There are many sacred promises hidden inside our traditional wedding vows. One of the most emotional moments for me is when I hear the couple promise “To love and to cherish, till death do us part” Often times, these words indicate we are coming to the end of the ceremony. But not before couples solidify their covenant, for a lifetime, in front of witnesses. The magitude of our vows normally causes guest to grow quiet. People smile through tears as everyone anticipates the beauty of forever. “To love and to cherish, till death do us part” are promises meant to shape how people live, love, forgive, connect, and remain faithful to one another in their marriage for a lifetime. These words actually are evidence that love was never meant to be casual. As shared in one of my previous blogs, love should not be treated like a feeling that comes and goes. Emotions are too fleeting for that. When emotions are high, love feels easy until life becomes stressful. In fact, some peo...

 

Some parts of our vows sound poetic on a wedding day. Because it is tradition, we recite vows before they become real. But these vows specifically, like the ones last week, are vows that life gives weight. And if I am honest, these vows are deeply personal in my own story. Many of you that know us, know that we almost lost James. And that changed everything. But if you talk to our children, family, and close friends, they will tell you life changed for us early in our marriage when sickness changed our lives and family dynamic. Hospitalization and quietness in our home became routine as I went from specialist to specialist to find out what was happening to my body. Eventually, praise God, we learned our to manage our diagnosis to enjoy a good quality of life.  What does “In sickness and in health” mean? An example that I often share is an early memory of my marriage. As you know, music is an important element of our love story. James and I enjoyed Flashback festivals in Atlanta whe...

Real talk family: When we think about the part of our wedding vows that says “To Have and To Hold” we must consider the deep implication of acceptance, presence, and closeness. These words are about being entrusted with someone’s heart, life, vulnerability, tenderness, and truth (have). Its foundation is spiritual but also entails physical, emotional, and relational closeness with your mate for a lifetime (hold). The “have” aspect of our vows is related to entering into a covenant relationship that is exclusive. It signifies that you are taking your spouse and accepting them unconditionally.  From this day forward specifies a lifetime, a lifelong commitment in covenant relationship. The benefit of marriage includes the trust and safety each person is afforded in covenant relationship. It is more than an emotional commitment. You are not only connected by this vow, but, you spiritually build a life together, becoming one flesh under God’s design for marriage.  Covenant marriage...

Real talk family.  We plan to explore, define, and understand the meaning behind the wedding day, the ceremony as well as our marriage vows. Let’s fully understand what we said "I do" to, and; what “I do” should mean for the happily ever after.   Your wedding ceremony does not only represent one special day, but more importantly, it represents a promise of love and marriage for a lifetime.  Marriage is one of the most beautiful commitments two people can make. So let's have fun with this series. We'll start the series by exploring what wedding rings represent.There are few things in marriage more familiar than a wedding ring. You wear it to work, to dinner, to church, to family events, and through the ordinary routines of life. Your wedding ring sits quietly on your finger, yet it speaks volumes. A wedding ring is not just jewelry. It is a symbol of covenant.  The ring's circular shape, with no beginning or end, has long represented eternity, wholeness, and endu...

  I hope you missed me delivering my weekly blog. I was without my laptop mid-March and just decided it was too much to update this blog via phone (I’m still very old school). But I’m back. I'm excited about April blogs. We have a lot of good things to share. Let’s start this off talking a little more about passion in marriage. To have passion, chemistry must exist, right? Wrong.  Chemistry is magnetic. It pulls you in without effort. But what many couples eventually discover is that while chemistry is instant, presence, connection, and partnership is built over time. Partnership steadies love. This kind of steady love is lasting because it’s achieved through time spent building something special together. This kind of love includes patience with each other’s differences and most importantly, being fully present in the process. One of the things you will appreciate most about intentional presence is how passion matures as a result of it. Yes, passion. While James and I had the...

Real talk family. How do you define commitment? Some people only recognize commitment when they struggle with it. But commitment is not about staying in the struggle. It is about the daily choice to love, live, remain, and sustain. When you are grateful for your spouse, staying isn’t a burden but a privilege. When you value your relationship, staying committed and choosing your spouse doesn’t feel heavy because it is rooted in appreciation instead of obligation. Commitment isn’t simply enduring but rather building and sustaining a love that will last. You become protective of your relationship. You enjoy time together to naturally nurture what you’re becoming. In our story, a strong, healthy relationship wasn’t built overnight. Our relationship grew through our daily decisions. It took effort and the willingness, patience, and grace to learn each other deeply and to love the good, bad, and the ugly. Then what started with chemistry matured into covenant. That’s the beauty of marriage....

Did you know gratitude often has a quiet power that is beneficial to our relationships. When you show love and appreciation for the everyday, big and small things your spouse does, it builds connection and softens tension. Why is gratitude important? Because we all should remember that even everyday, ordinary tasks we do in our home for one another are acts of love.  When couples focus on what is positive,  instead of what is negative, and what they are thankful for,  instead of what is missing, something beautiful happens. Criticism loses volume as tenderness and connection increases. And while gratitude doesn’t ignore challenges, it helps minimize how challenges define your whole relationship. In our own journey, I’ve learned that expressing appreciation to James lets him know that i don't take him for granted. It reminds James that his contributions matter. And the same for me. And that’s why  I started the 10-day gratitude challenge. Reflection Tip: Today, expres...

Welcome back, family. Today’s subject is timely based on a number of conversations with people we’ve had over the past couple of months, both husbands and wives. Lately, as we’ve talked with couples, we’ve noticed a common thread in their language.  “Marriage is a lot of work.” “Relationships are hard.” “Relationships shouldn’t be this hard” “I’m just tired.” And if we’re honest, we understand where those words come from and why couples feel strained as they become one. Becoming one is not something that happens overnight or even over a few years. It is an ongoing process that is not always easy. Yes, marriage requires effort. It is true that relationships often stretch us. And sometimes, especially in seasons of stress or misunderstanding, love can feel heavy and even feel like a lot of work. But consider this in those moments: Our earthly relationships are a reflection of our spiritual relationship with our Father.  Think about your conversion. Everything did not immediately...

Real talk, family: Romance is often misunderstood. Most of us have lived long enough to know that romance is not proven through grand gestures, extravagant gifts, elaborate trips, or perfectly planned moments. In fact, romance may not even result in fireworks. Romance is most powerfully expressed through intention. As Valentine’s Day approaches, I invite couples to remember that romance isn’t about grand gestures alone. Some of the most meaningful moments in my relationship with James were not expensive or big productions (although I enjoyed the big productions as well). They were simple. Quiet. Intentional. Through simply enjoying one another’s presence without pressure or performance we were able to create memorable experiences that were special. Romance creates close connection in your relationship. Close connection leads to both emotional and physical intimacy. Couples who have close connection experience high relationship satisfaction. Not just on holidays, like February 14, but 2...

There is a quiet ache many people carry into relationships. It is the hope of being loved, paired with the fear of being truly known. To be known means to be seen. And to be seen means to risk rejection which is hard for all of us, regardless of our age, gender, or status. Yet, acceptance , real acceptance , is one of the greatest gifts love can offer. This week’s blog will focus on the gift of acceptance . Acceptance is not loving someone for who they could be, your dream version of a person, or even the potential that you see. All of those ideas may be included in your love. But true acceptance means that you love them for who they already are, not who you (are them) want to be. Long before James and I ever became a couple, we were friends. And even then, something about talking or being around James felt safe. I could talk. Really talk. This made it easy to share everything with James. I shared my disappointments, my hurts, my fears, and yes, even the parts of myself I believed mad...

Scripture: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” — Psalm 127:1 (NIV) Reflection: Strong marriages are built when God is at the center. This year, we want to be intentional about keeping God at the center of our relationship instead of keeping life so busy that God is placed on the sidelines, waiting to be put in the game. Today, we recommit our covenant to God. We choose one another daily, and commit to the work of strengthening our marriages day-after-day. We recommit to protecting the priority of our marriage, with God at the center.  Prayer: God, we place our marriage fully in Your hands. Lead us, strengthen us, and continue writing our love story. Amen. Intentional Action: Holding hands, reaffirm your commitment to God and to each other out loud.

Scripture: “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)  Reflection: Did you know that fun, laughter, and leisure activities create an essential relationship dynamic that should never be neglected. This represents the time couples spend together to focus on them. It nourishes, replenishes, and strengthens relationships in such a way that not only supports high relationship satisfaction, but also enables a deeper connection for couples to navigate difficult seasons in their relationship easier and better. Remember that joy belongs in marriage too. Nurture your friendship. Friendship is essential to lasting love. Prayer: God, restore joy and lightness in our marriage. Help us laugh, play, and have fun together. Help us to move from our normal routines to be intentional about time together to share our love and lives. We recommit ourselves to honor our vows to love and to cherish till death do us part. Amen. Intentional Action: Do something fun. Create a date night ...

Scripture: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19 (NIV) Reflection: Healthy communication isn’t about winning. It is important to seek understanding whether you agree or disagree with your partner’s perspective. Why understanding? Remember, you are on the same team with different players in the game. Healthy communication allows you to seek understanding for the good of the whole (husband, wife) verses seeking to win which is more focused on self and an individualistic perspective. No matter the situation, always be careful with your words. Choose words that heal, not harm. Prayer: Lord, guide our words. Help us speak truth with love and listen with humility. Amen. Intentional Action: Practice listening without interrupting or defending.

Scripture : “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) Reflection: Spiritual intimacy reminds us that marriage was never meant to be navigated alone. God strengthens what we invite Him into. When we use the strand analogy for Ecclesiastes 4:12, we see how the thread is strengthened each time we add the additional strand. We understand that the unity of the husband and wife is fortified by the third strand which is representative of God. God at the center of our marriages is His design for covenant relationships to be strong and long lasting.   Prayer: God, draw us closer to You and closer to each other. Be the center of our marriage and guide us in all of Your ways. Amen. Intentional Action: Pray together—even briefly.

Scripture:  24) That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25) Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Reflection:  Emotional intimacy grows when we feel safe to share our thoughts, fears, and hopes without judgment. Today is about leaning in emotionally, being naked and vulnerable with one another without shame.  Prayer:  Lord, help us create a safe place for one another’s hearts. Teach us to listen with compassion and respond with care. Help our relationship be one conducive for emotional transparency, honesty, and trust.  Help us to live and exist in unity as husband and wife, as one flesh, based on your design for marriage. Amen. Intentional Action:   Ask each other: “How are you really doing?” Listen fully. 

Scripture: 9) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. 10) If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) Reflection:  Connection doesn’t disappear overnight but fades daily when the relationship is neglected. Today is about turning toward each other again. Choosing closeness. Choosing “connection.” Prayer:  God, help us slow down and truly see one another again. Next to You, make our relationship our greatest priority. We choose each other and are committed to our Covenant. Please, strengthen our bond and remind us how to connect and chose each other everyday. Amen. Intentional Action:  Spend at least 10 uninterrupted minutes talking without phones or...

Heavenly Father, Our God. Thank You for bringing us together in Covenant relationship. Thank you for the love we share. Father, please help us to choose one another with intention each day. Teach us to listen with understanding, speak with kindness, and respond with grace, regardless of what season we are experiencing.  Father God, strengthen our connection emotionally, spiritually, and physically. When life feels heavy, remind us that we are on the same team. Help us to communicate with kindness as we listen to understand, not just respond to win. We promise to keep You at the center of our marriage so our love may grow deeper, stronger, and more secure, to bring You glory. Father, we place our relationship in Your hands, trusting You to guide us, sustain us, and grow us together. Thank you for our marriage. In the Name of Jesus.  Amen.