Covenantstrong.org

Real talk family. Traditional wedding vows are beautiful but most of the familiar wedding vow language ("for better, for worse," "for richer, for poorer," etc.) is not quoted directly from Scripture. Traditional vows were developed over centuries by the Church to summarize biblical principles of covenant marriage. In fact, before wedding ceremonies, wedding bands, and traditional vows, Scripture gave couples a blueprint for what covenant love should look like. A good example of a marital Foundational Biblical Principle (FBP) is Genesis 2:24 (NIV) "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." This is a promise to leave and cleave. It places the marital relationship as of greater priority than the relationship between parent in child(ren). Don’t misunderstand. There is great responsibility in becoming a parent. But as an adult, when you marry, you build a new family identity with  your spouse.  This vo...

 

Real talk family. There are many sacred promises hidden inside our traditional wedding vows. One of the most emotional moments for me is when I hear the couple promise “To love and to cherish, till death do us part” Often times, these words indicate we are coming to the end of the ceremony. But not before couples solidify their covenant, for a lifetime, in front of witnesses. The magitude of our vows normally causes guest to grow quiet. People smile through tears as everyone anticipates the beauty of forever. “To love and to cherish, till death do us part” are promises meant to shape how people live, love, forgive, connect, and remain faithful to one another in their marriage for a lifetime. These words actually are evidence that love was never meant to be casual. As shared in one of my previous blogs, love should not be treated like a feeling that comes and goes. Emotions are too fleeting for that. When emotions are high, love feels easy until life becomes stressful. In fact, some peo...

 

Some parts of our vows sound poetic on a wedding day. Because it is tradition, we recite vows before they become real. But these vows specifically, like the ones last week, are vows that life gives weight. And if I am honest, these vows are deeply personal in my own story. Many of you that know us, know that we almost lost James. And that changed everything. But if you talk to our children, family, and close friends, they will tell you life changed for us early in our marriage when sickness changed our lives and family dynamic. Hospitalization and quietness in our home became routine as I went from specialist to specialist to find out what was happening to my body. Eventually, praise God, we learned our to manage our diagnosis to enjoy a good quality of life.  What does “In sickness and in health” mean? An example that I often share is an early memory of my marriage. As you know, music is an important element of our love story. James and I enjoyed Flashback festivals in Atlanta whe...

Real talk family: When we think about the part of our wedding vows that says “To Have and To Hold” we must consider the deep implication of acceptance, presence, and closeness. These words are about being entrusted with someone’s heart, life, vulnerability, tenderness, and truth (have). Its foundation is spiritual but also entails physical, emotional, and relational closeness with your mate for a lifetime (hold). The “have” aspect of our vows is related to entering into a covenant relationship that is exclusive. It signifies that you are taking your spouse and accepting them unconditionally.  From this day forward specifies a lifetime, a lifelong commitment in covenant relationship. The benefit of marriage includes the trust and safety each person is afforded in covenant relationship. It is more than an emotional commitment. You are not only connected by this vow, but, you spiritually build a life together, becoming one flesh under God’s design for marriage.  Covenant marriage...

Real talk family.  We plan to explore, define, and understand the meaning behind the wedding day, the ceremony as well as our marriage vows. Let’s fully understand what we said "I do" to, and; what “I do” should mean for the happily ever after.   Your wedding ceremony does not only represent one special day, but more importantly, it represents a promise of love and marriage for a lifetime.  Marriage is one of the most beautiful commitments two people can make. So let's have fun with this series. We'll start the series by exploring what wedding rings represent.There are few things in marriage more familiar than a wedding ring. You wear it to work, to dinner, to church, to family events, and through the ordinary routines of life. Your wedding ring sits quietly on your finger, yet it speaks volumes. A wedding ring is not just jewelry. It is a symbol of covenant.  The ring's circular shape, with no beginning or end, has long represented eternity, wholeness, and endu...

  I hope you missed me delivering my weekly blog. I was without my laptop mid-March and just decided it was too much to update this blog via phone (I’m still very old school). But I’m back. I'm excited about April blogs. We have a lot of good things to share. Let’s start this off talking a little more about passion in marriage. To have passion, chemistry must exist, right? Wrong.  Chemistry is magnetic. It pulls you in without effort. But what many couples eventually discover is that while chemistry is instant, presence, connection, and partnership is built over time. Partnership steadies love. This kind of steady love is lasting because it’s achieved through time spent building something special together. This kind of love includes patience with each other’s differences and most importantly, being fully present in the process. One of the things you will appreciate most about intentional presence is how passion matures as a result of it. Yes, passion. While James and I had the...

Welcome back, family. Today’s subject is timely based on a number of conversations with people we’ve had over the past couple of months, both husbands and wives. Lately, as we’ve talked with couples, we’ve noticed a common thread in their language.  “Marriage is a lot of work.” “Relationships are hard.” “Relationships shouldn’t be this hard” “I’m just tired.” And if we’re honest, we understand where those words come from and why couples feel strained as they become one. Becoming one is not something that happens overnight or even over a few years. It is an ongoing process that is not always easy. Yes, marriage requires effort. It is true that relationships often stretch us. And sometimes, especially in seasons of stress or misunderstanding, love can feel heavy and even feel like a lot of work. But consider this in those moments: Our earthly relationships are a reflection of our spiritual relationship with our Father.  Think about your conversion. Everything did not immediately...

Scripture: “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)  Reflection: Did you know that fun, laughter, and leisure activities create an essential relationship dynamic that should never be neglected. This represents the time couples spend together to focus on them. It nourishes, replenishes, and strengthens relationships in such a way that not only supports high relationship satisfaction, but also enables a deeper connection for couples to navigate difficult seasons in their relationship easier and better. Remember that joy belongs in marriage too. Nurture your friendship. Friendship is essential to lasting love. Prayer: God, restore joy and lightness in our marriage. Help us laugh, play, and have fun together. Help us to move from our normal routines to be intentional about time together to share our love and lives. We recommit ourselves to honor our vows to love and to cherish till death do us part. Amen. Intentional Action: Do something fun. Create a date night ...

Scripture: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19 (NIV) Reflection: Healthy communication isn’t about winning. It is important to seek understanding whether you agree or disagree with your partner’s perspective. Why understanding? Remember, you are on the same team with different players in the game. Healthy communication allows you to seek understanding for the good of the whole (husband, wife) verses seeking to win which is more focused on self and an individualistic perspective. No matter the situation, always be careful with your words. Choose words that heal, not harm. Prayer: Lord, guide our words. Help us speak truth with love and listen with humility. Amen. Intentional Action: Practice listening without interrupting or defending.

Scripture : “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) Reflection: Spiritual intimacy reminds us that marriage was never meant to be navigated alone. God strengthens what we invite Him into. When we use the strand analogy for Ecclesiastes 4:12, we see how the thread is strengthened each time we add the additional strand. We understand that the unity of the husband and wife is fortified by the third strand which is representative of God. God at the center of our marriages is His design for covenant relationships to be strong and long lasting.   Prayer: God, draw us closer to You and closer to each other. Be the center of our marriage and guide us in all of Your ways. Amen. Intentional Action: Pray together—even briefly.

Scripture:  24) That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25) Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Reflection:  Emotional intimacy grows when we feel safe to share our thoughts, fears, and hopes without judgment. Today is about leaning in emotionally, being naked and vulnerable with one another without shame.  Prayer:  Lord, help us create a safe place for one another’s hearts. Teach us to listen with compassion and respond with care. Help our relationship be one conducive for emotional transparency, honesty, and trust.  Help us to live and exist in unity as husband and wife, as one flesh, based on your design for marriage. Amen. Intentional Action:   Ask each other: “How are you really doing?” Listen fully. 

Heavenly Father, Our God. Thank You for bringing us together in Covenant relationship. Thank you for the love we share. Father, please help us to choose one another with intention each day. Teach us to listen with understanding, speak with kindness, and respond with grace, regardless of what season we are experiencing.  Father God, strengthen our connection emotionally, spiritually, and physically. When life feels heavy, remind us that we are on the same team. Help us to communicate with kindness as we listen to understand, not just respond to win. We promise to keep You at the center of our marriage so our love may grow deeper, stronger, and more secure, to bring You glory. Father, we place our relationship in Your hands, trusting You to guide us, sustain us, and grow us together. Thank you for our marriage. In the Name of Jesus.  Amen. 

As we welcome 2026, our hearts at Covenant Strong are full.of gratitude for every couple, every family, and every individual who has walked this journey with us. Looking Back with Grateful Hearts In 2025, we talked honestly about love. Not the fairy-tale version. Not the “easy when it feels good” kind. But the chosen kind. We shared God’s design for marriage (Covenant vs Contract), building a foundation for forever, faith in action, and the concept of love as a choice, and so much more. We shared our own story about how two people, who started as friends, found themselves swept into a whirlwind love. We were transparent about how we faced the unexpected reality that marriage takes more than feelings to survive. I hope our sharing helped someone, somewhere. Because we understand how difficult marriages can be to navigate in today’s world, we provided, and will continue to provide, what we termed as Foundational Biblical Principles and Fundamental Best Practices (FBPs). This blog (her...

It’s easy to get lost in daily frustrations like bills, miscommunications, and unmet expectations. During the holiday season, busyness and financial stressors can add to your normal, everyday toll. Like Christmas, love is not about receiving, but giving, especially giving what God created as essential gifts to a relationship. This includes things like kindness, patience, mercy, and love.  So, as shared in my previous blogs, the early part of our marriage was difficult to navigate. This was a surprise since we were close friends long before anything romantic happened between us. We made the decision to approach marriage God's way. We discovered that when we prayed together, even short prayers, our disagreements softened and our relationship was strengthened. Our focus shifted from all our frustration to our shared faith. We found that faith helped us zoom out to realize what truly matters, two imperfect people learning to love like Christ.  According to a 2023 Barna study, cou...

We are taking this December, my favorite time of year, to make my blog posts more personal. I hope it will provide you a little insight as to why James and I created covenantstrong.org to share our story, our voice, discovered resources, relationship information, and hope - mostly hope - for couples everywhere to become examples for healthy, happy, successful marriages. This blog is the first of my Christmas series. I hope it blesses you enough to share my articles with others. Happy holidays. We love you.   There are moments in life you don’t plan for; moments that sneak in quietly, tap you on the shoulder, and whisper, “Pay attention… everything is about to change.”  I didn’t know a causal night out to celebrate a December birthday of a close friend would be one of them. The room was lit with soft reds and golds: the kind of warm glow that feels like Christmas even when it isn’t. People laughed, the music played, and I remember thinking I was just there to support my fr...

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, who has studied marriages for over 40 years, discovered that couples who are successful don’t avoid conflict but choose kindness, patience, and respect in moments when anger or pride could take over. Studies show the heartbeat of lasting marriages is choosing unity over ego. I dare say choosing a Godly approach to love, even when your emotions don’t align, results in a deeper, richer kind of relationship.  The choice is commitment to one another, even during conflict. Here’s something to remember about choice that sustains love: Stronger, Godly marriages are built on choosing what is right, not just what’s easy or convenient. Some fundamental best practices for loving through conflict include: 1) offering grace instead of criticism. 2) Stay in the room rather than walking away unless you have an agreed upon timeout. 3) Keep your vows not just with your words, but with your actions. This means honoring your routines and responsibilities even when you a...

Love rooted in decision, not emotion , is what creates lasting joy and connection. Let's continue to explore God's model of love for you to experience happy, healthy marriages that last because your foundation is strong. Feelings change and can’t be trusted as a foundation of love. But God’s design for love is based on an act of will and sacrifice , not fleeting desire. The most important element of this concept is an intentional decision to love in contrast to automatic feelings that you can't control.  James and I know how important understanding this model is for couples to create lasting relationships. We both experienced the pain of divorce. I'm not trying to minimize any marital situation that has caused anyone to consider divorce. I just want to encourage couples never to use a permanent solution to resolve a temporary problem. Couples will have conflict, difficulty, and seasons of disconnect . This is when every decision we make can strengthen our bonds of co...

You know that heart-skipping, exciting feeling you called love when you met your spouse? Think back to the long conversations, laughter, and desire to always be together. Beautiful, isn’t it? We often confuse those fleeting feelings, or emotions, with love. But here’s the truth: feeling like these are largely reactions to stimuli with responses that is not meant to last forever. Choice always outlasts emotion. This week, we are continuing our theme of teaching love as a choice. Thankfully, God's example of love is not based on fleeting feelings but on faithful commitment. We were created in His image and must also love others as He loves us. Yes, your love may have began as a spark. But science and Scripture both confirm that real love endures because it’s chosen. The consensus of research related to relationship science estimates that the brain’s “in love” chemical cocktail — dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin has an average peak range of  6 to 24 months. Of course, this phase...